|
Points of Connection
|
Conversation Questions/Topics
for your Child
|
Suggested Activity
|
|
Reflection
|
|
Your Dreams
|
What do you want to do with your life?
Picture what life will be like for you in ten years.
What are your interests and passions?
|
Have your child discuss or write out his/her ideal future. In other words, have him/her “paint” the best case scenario for his/her future self.
|
|
The Search
|
How do you feel you are changing?
What things have become very important to you?
What new ideas are you currently exploring?
Are you developing any new interests in the arts?
|
In the time you have between now and leaving for college, try to attend as many cultural/learning activities as you can. Make a point to discuss each one together.
|
|
Setting Goals
|
Why do you want to go to college?
How will college shape your future?
How will college benefit you?
|
Write a letter to your college bound child in which you express your hopes and dreams for him or her.
|
|
Academic Interests
|
What school subjects interest you the most?
What do you want to study in college and why?
|
Talk to your teachers and ask them to discuss why they selected their field (major). Have them identify pluses and minuses. Go to the websites of colleges that interest you and review the majors they offer.
|
|
College Choice
|
Describe your ideal college
|
Have your child complete a “college Choice” list.” For each college on the list indicate its level of desirability, its cost, and its strengths and limitations.
|
|
Social/Family Concerns
|
|
Parent/Child Relationships
|
Discuss: When you go to college our relationship will undoubtedly change.
|
Have your child define aloud how an adult/child relationship differs from an adult/adult relationship.
|
|
Parent Expectations
|
Discuss: When you are away at college we have certain expectations of you
Discuss the importance of regular communication.
|
Both parents and child should write out a communication commitment. This indicates how you will stay connected. You may even want to write an informal “connection” contract.
|
|
Parent Feelings
|
Discuss: As a parent I have mixed feelings about you leaving the household
When you go off to college, this is how my life will change
|
Parents, put together a set of pictures that reflect the times that you feel have defined your sense of family. Give it to your child and discuss how the pictures make you feel.
|
|
Career
|
What do you want to do for a living and how does that influence your college planning?
|
Do the career exercises found at http://www.careervoyages.gov/careercompass-main.cfm Discuss the results together.
|
|
Personal Attributes
|
|
People Skills
|
Do you get along with people well?
How do you approach resolving issues with others?
|
Role Playing: A parent should play the role of a disagreeable roommate who is sloppy. Your child should model how he/she would confront this situation.
|
|
Friendship
|
Do you make friends easily?
Are you worried about making new friends?
Is there a certain type of person you are drawn to?
What are the “dangers” of making the wrong kind of friends?
Define “The Wrong Kind of Friends”
How do you feel about leaving your current friends? (And the family pet)
|
Have our child make two lists: one of behaviors he/she wants in a friend and another list of college behaviors to avoid.
Identify together some strategies for making new friends at college.
|
|
Wellness
|
Do you feel you take good care of yourself (exercise, eating, sleep, etc.)?
Do you feel that you handle stress well? What do you do to manage your stress? What do you do to relax?
|
Have your child read what teens are doing to establish good wellness habits at Inspire Wellness-- http://inspirewellness.com/community-teens/ Then write a “Wellness Promise” in which you identify a wellness regimen for yourself. Both child and parents should sign off on this “contract.”
|
|
Time Management
|
Do you manage time well?
Are you good at organizing things you have to do?
Do you get frustrated with all the things you have to do?
|
Have your child construct a college application “game plan.” Remember it is the child’s responsibility to meet deadlines, gather information, complete application requirements, and schedule visits. It is helpful to buy an inexpensive calendar to be dedicated to college planning. Go over the calendar together.
|
|
Finances
|
Do you understand the responsibility of debt?
Do you handle money well: budgeting, checking, and credit cards?
Do you understand the danger of credit cards?
|
Together, take the Financial Literacy Quiz for teens at http://www.corp.ca.gov/Education_Outreach/literacy/quiz/
Then discuss the results.
|
|
Campus Life
|
|
Living Conditions
|
Have you thought about how your living conditions will change when you attend college?
How will life be different when you are no longer living at home
|
Ask your child to interview several friends who are currently in college and ask them to explain what they have done about the following: privacy, entertainment, eating, religious habits, friends, and spending money.
Read a “college survival” book together.
|
|
Campus Life: Roommates
|
What challenges must you confront living with a roommate?
What are some do’s and don’ts connected with roommate living?
Define roommate “ground rules.”
|
Select three current classmates (not close friends). Imagine that they are your dorm roommates. Make a list of personal attributes that might “drive you crazy.” Then consider the habits that you have that might drive a roommate crazy.
|
|
Independent Living
|
How will living on campus be different from how you live now?
What practical things do you think you should learn how to do well before you go to college?
|
Give your child a primer on independent living. This should include a “how to” with things like the washer and dryer, oven, basic cooking techniques, clothing care, finances (including managing a checkbook and credit/debit cards), etc.
|
|
Freedom
|
Define personal freedom
What does it mean to be accountable?
|
A large number of college students say they were surprised by the degree of personal freedom in college. Make a list of potential positives and potential hazards of personal freedom in college.
|
